We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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