i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize