My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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