does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
