Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize