Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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