yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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