Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
