okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
