no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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