Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
