Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
