And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
