It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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