I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
