Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
