i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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