i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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