Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
