After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
