Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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