This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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