Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize