absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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