He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
