I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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