Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
