The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
