We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
