My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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