We're facebook friends in real life
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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