It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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