I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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