so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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