so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
