we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize