There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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