yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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