it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
