I murdered the dance floor call the cops
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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