the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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