Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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