Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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