so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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