i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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