Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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