today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
