Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
