The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize