I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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