okay pat passed out under dana's car
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I understand Curling. That high.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
