I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize