you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We had to coat check the pizza.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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