Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
