He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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